What is Going Steady?

All of us are well aware tat going steady is a social institution here in the Philippines. It is one of the many modifications of modern age. It has brought about this modern trend of early marriages and elopements. It is one of those things, which we have adapted from the United States for the sake of convenience.

Here are some of the different definitions of Going Steady:

a. an engagement to be engaged
b. an agreement to steady companionship without any thought of marriage
c. the granting of privilege above ordinary friendship
d. an agreement for exclusive social activity
e. an institution for young people equivalent to engagement for older people
f. merely an attraction to this particular member of the opposite sex

Don't you notice that one definition contradicts another? The first one actually contemplates marriage; the second is completely void of the idea of  marriage. The third, granting of privileges above ordinary friendship, deals only with the idea of privileges without again the thought of marriage; the fourth limits itself to steady companionship without the thought of marriage. The first and the fifth are in some ways similar, but they are different in the sense that the first is a promise in itself through marriage is remote, because of the age of the individual. The sixth is different from the rest, because there is no agreement whatsoever, whereas the other definitions there are some elements of agreement.

Generally, the idea is not to get married but to obtain some special advantage. Some go steady merely because everybody is doing it; while others go steady because they have an irresponsible attraction towards each other.

Others go steady with different girls successively in order to find out which girl is the right girl for him. Some boys go steady for pride or conquest or simply to wangle a job from the girl's father. Some girls go steady for pride of conquest; others, merely for flattery. Some girls go steady to stop the gossip around school and making it true; others, to spite and bait boys.

Dangers of going steady:

Going steady is a certain kind of mutual agreement brought about by mutual agreement between a boy and a girl. Boys and girls enter into such agreement when they are 14 or 15. However, it is generally at 16-19 when boys and girls do get steady. But it is at 22 for girls and 26 for boys when they are physically, emotionally and financially ready to get married (that is, back in the 90s. Right now, I don't think so).

The privileges of going steady: It is considered the privilege of each party to have the first choice in the other's company in dances, on dates, visits, telephone calls and other social activities about his or her feelings or problems to the other. In many cases, such as physical privileges are kissing and holding hands are included.

The rules:

1. The girl cannot receive visitors while the boy cannot visit girls.
2. The girl cannot receive phone calls from other boys while the boy cannot call other girls.
3. For socials, as much as possible, the boy should escort the girl. However, if this is possible, permission has to be asked for any social where the boy and girl cannot go together. In dancing, slow drag is usually forbidden with other boys or girls.

What are the advantages of such arrangement? It gives the boy and the girl an opportunity to know each other quite well. Such an intimate knowledge would mean better - married life later on. Such an arrangement makes the life of the boy and the girl more secure socially, at least, in the sense that the girl practically has no worries about whom to take to his next class party. There are also such romantic advantages as having inspiration or having someone to love.

And what can be the disadvantages possibly consist in? They have to be alone together for long periods of time like going on dates, parties, and other activities. Here, there is moral danger involved. When a boy and a girl, who are in love or thinks they are, alone together, the temptation to sin becomes very grave. They consider it their privilege to kiss and hold hands, and the temptation becomes even greater. Since the couple is usually years away from marriage, emotionally and financially, one of two things can happen, either the couple commits sin, or they get married. I do not say that these things usually happen all the time, but the danger of these things happening is certainly very grave.

Another danger would be that either one or the other or both persons become socially stunted. Since both the boy and the girl are prohibited from having close relations with others, their social circle becomes limited. Both are prevented from meeting a lot of other boys and girls whom they could meet if they were free to circulate. For example, take the case of a sixteen - year old girl who goes steady. If after three years of going around with the same boy, going around in the same circle, she breaks up, she would at nineteen, have to start widely circulating again.

As for the romantic advantages such as inspirations, etc., everyone knows that a young boy who thinks he has the most wonderful girl in the world usually loses all interest in other things besides his romance, especially his studies and other duties.

Should You Go Steady?

Should we entirely condemn going steady? My answer is not necessarily. Going steady is necessary and correct provided it is carried on:

a. For the right purpose
b. At the right time
c. Under appropriate circumstances

It is often sour intentions that brand our actions as good or bad. If a boy has evil intentions, then we must condemn his friendship because it is sinful from the foundation. A girl of seventeen who goes steady with one young man after another with no idea of marriage at all in her mind, and certainly no prospect of it for four or five years, who is keeping company for mere amusement, can hardly be said to have justifying cause for keeping company with a boy.

If a boy has the honest intention of getting to know a girl better for the ultimate aim of marriage then going steady is sound and reasonable.

The second requirement is that going steady should be carried at the right time - when they are ready for marriage. The boy is physically fit when he is old enough to enter into marriage without danger to his physical development and when he is healthy of body and mind. He is emotionally fit when he is mature enough to face the responsibilities of married life.

Finally, he should be able to provide for a wife and growing family with a stable income and thus give them security they need. The girl in turn should be old enough to bear children and take care of them without danger to her health and that of her children.

She should be mature enough to understand and accept her responsibilities as wife and mother, and should be sufficiently trained to be able to educate her children properly, since education starts at home.

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Copy right from my grandpa's sister. Images from google search.

The Perfect Love Story

Can anyone of you be a fan of Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare? How about The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks? Twilight Saga? All of these have one thing in common. They were all love stories. I always wonder why most of us find the perfect love story with that of what we watch or read. Can you name one love story that you love the most? We always ask ourselves, "why can't we have the same relationships with that?" I've been watching some love stories and been reading them recently. I always thought that these fictional love stories exist. In fact they do, but not as perfect as what God has written for us. I bet, none of us has mentioned in ourselves how we love our own love story.

I paid attention to this book, followed it, imagined myself in it, hoping that my life would have been the same with the protagonist of the story. Wishing that I could see my self doing the same and having the same situations, the same characters in my life and having the same experiences creating a perfect love story. Sometimes, when you attached yourself in the story, you would not want to reach the last page of the book so you never have to realize that it has ended and the story is all that it is - nothing more than being a fiction. I remember myself writing almost the same thought previously, something about attaching ourselves with the fantasy we wish we were in it. (Read here.)

We forget to love the life that we have. Sometimes, that is what I hate about publications. These soap operas and these books were all man-made. As men, we like to make perfect love stories for ourselves never realizing that we have our own perfect love story. We were too busy creating one and finding more than what we already have. We forget to appreciate the kind of life and the love story that was created for us - by God - who made it uniquely for us. It is about time for us to open our eyes.

Yes, indeed women are emotional. I admit that I attach my emotions with everything else. We always thought that opening our feelings can solve everything. That is why we watch soaps, read books with attached "love story" in it. Most of the time, women make decisions based on their emotions. This is what I get blamed for, well, not most of the time but every time a couple argues - a man brings about his logical thinking with everything, and the woman, brings out her emotions for her rationalization. So how come despite these differences they still understand each other? That's what you call compromise. You value each other more than your pride. It wasn't about winning the argument, or approval of your partner's views, you opened your heart and accepting each other's thinking and by the end of the day, you will find that it doesn't matter. I didn't actually mean that you forget what you talked about. What I mean is that it doesn't matter who's right or wrong, what matters is you get to know each other better and you both are willing to sacrifice to give the best understanding for each. Each day, that is what me and my partner have been doing. We don't agree on much, well, we almost don't agree on everything. But no matter how different we may be, we still go on the same path together. That's the kind of love story that I have. Looking back on everything he and I have been through, I may read books, or watch several love stories. I may even cry as I watch it, or attach myself in it. But at the end of the day, ours is my favorite. It couldn't be anymore perfect because I knew that God has written it.

Back in the days, I always thought that what I had wasn't enough. That I knew I wanted more. But I have more than what I needed. I was blessed with a life with him. There were no trace of regrets as for me showing this man how much he means to me. This is one of the ways, actually. Behind this, there is more and I will never get tired of it. I found the "one". I don't have any proofs, I haven't seen a fortune teller, neither have I predicted my future or his. But I felt that I already found mine. I thought I could be spending a lifetime figuring it out who he is, or what will he look like. I even made a list of my ideal man. But this is the moment you will realize that all of those will be scrapped out because, he was better than what I have enlisted down. You can call me crazy or even cheesy, for I actually asked God to bring me this kind of man but He has given me better, no - He gave me the best. He actually didn't meet my expectations. He was beyond that. I may have found him but life isn't a walk in the park. We also have hurt each other, say things we didn't mean. Even went to the point of giving all up. Yet,  all the pain, all the the things we've gone through were worth it. I know that it can be risky. I never forget to love myself, because without it I couldn't have loved him the way that I am now. You know what I found? I was glad he was the same. As Bob Marley says, "the truth is, it is not going to be easy, we just have to find the one's worth suffering for." We both were happy and still willing to figure it out because we both knew that we can surpass almost everything as long as we're together.

So what's your love story? Look back into yourself and remember the what you've gone through. The words he/she told you, or the nameless moments that brought you together. Some may be single at the moment, but hey, have faith and trust God because He has one for you that will be perfect. Trust me, that will be the kind of love story that you wouldn't get tired of reading. 

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No copyright infringement intended. Credits to google seach for the images.

A Strong Relationship is..

It was less than 10 years ago, when I started to live my life differently. I am an ordinary person, with nothing much, neither am I famous nor wealthy. I am not even that smart nor beautiful. But I am surely one of the people who had experiences that are worth more than anything. These experiences are one of the reasons that make me and my partner who we are today. We both knew that it is more than just what our heart feels.

The previous year of my life has been really challenging. We both felt the kind of pain we didn't know that could exist. We suffered, we both were down the rocks. But in the end, we learned a lot of things; took all of those and made us strong. For the first time in my life, I never knew that life was indeed full of surprises.

I was 14 when I first experienced being broken hearted in a way that  infatuation made. I wasn't sure why but I knew in myself that what I felt was real. It was really painful to see your love walk away from you. With all the pain that caused me, I prayed. I prayed that the pain would be over. I raised my hopes up and said to myself that one day, I will find that person who would never give up on me whatever happens; that I will never be an option but the only choice. It was an immature thought to bear, I know. But if I could meet my young self today, I would have said the same anyway. I guess that is why time machines don't exist. Because when we try to change the past, better things won't be coming our way.

I never noticed until then that time flew so fast. I thought that I wasn't able to wait or bear the patience to find "that" person. Going back from less than ten years ago, it may be at random, coincidence, or perhaps - fate that brought something in my life. The day that I met a person that will always be special and one who will forever have my heart. I fell in love. Off course, we both were young, carefree, just tried to figure out things with no regards of the future as for the moment. We only lived each day just being happy. I found myself in his and he found himself in mine. We got into arguments, fights, misunderstandings. But in the end we still found each other and that having each other was more important than fixing a fight. We were immature; we had a lot to discover; we have a lot in life to learn about and having a commitment was the least of the things we knew. We were growing apart and we were slowly realizing our differences so we decided to set it off. We found ourselves going on our separate ways. It was when we thought it was over.

A lot of things already happened. I went to college, he was in his. I had a different major and he was busy building himself out, too. We met different people along the way. We adopted someone else's principles, lived on with other people. Two years had passed and we lived a normal life. A lot can happen in a day then, what more can happen for two years? The odd thing about it is that, there was no existing connection until one day, we found ourselves crossing paths again.

We said our "hi's" and "hello's", tried to catch up with everything that has happened. Until it came to a point when we tried to dig inside ourselves and we found something that we never thought was there - each other. We both realized that even time wasn't enough to put out a flame. Once again, was it just coincidence, or was it fate that we met again? I always had a belief in this so-called, "fate". That whatever is designed to happen will happen. There can be experiences in life that we felt that fate has decided. But what actually made this fate happen is that it is made by the choices we make. There must be some kind of entity that make us do these choices. It may be God, or something else. I am not sure but I will forever thank that for bringing this person into my life.

We tried to rebuild what we once thought was lost. We lived each day, having more in depth details about each other. We were still young and still have a lot to learn. The only difference is that, we accepted each others flaws and had the best understanding of our differences. Somehow, the pain that we felt after loosing each other previously may have been one of the reasons why we try to live and accept each other no matter what. Then, we thought it was enough. We thought it was enough to say that we are stronger than anything else. We were inseparable, crazy about each other, until life happened between us.

We got our first jobs. It was a fresh start towards building our individual careers. But surely, we never forget the plans we made for the future. Once again, we thought it was enough to keep the relationship growing but there was more to it than just building the future. He learned his own lessons. He learned a lot through his job and frantically, I wasn't there beside him to learn with him. We were miles apart, but we kept the communication there. He was only able to talk his experiences with me. I got a bit insecure honestly, not because he was able to learn a lot, but it felt like I was being left behind. I thought I might not be able to catch up with him and I may not deserve him anymore. We got caught up in our work, forgot to prioritize each other and we thought it was okay. We got into misunderstandings and lasted a day without fixing it until it all build up. We never realized that until we got into a situation that caused the both of us so much pain. We were too broken to love each other back. It was the time we asked if love was enough to bring it all back together. We both took it negatively. We lost ourselves in the process of loving each other and thinking that the only option left was to close the door between us and to find ourselves back into the time when we haven't crossed paths again. We had the option of finding each other again for the third time around and took it as a sign that we were really meant to be. But no matter how much we try to set ourselves away and try to find another path alone, at the end of the road, we still gravitate towards each other. There was something that was keeping us drawn to our relationship. We both asked ourselves, "Was it really worth it to leave everything?". It was a difficult break up because we were miles apart and there was no other way that we could see each other face to face to talk about it. We agreed to let go through a long distance call. When it came to dropping the call, none of us was urging to do it first. It was indeed difficult to let go when you feel like you have to leave behind a part of you and forgetting all those years like forgetting half of your life.

He once mentioned that our relationship was built on three things: first and most important is trust then, honesty and love was the last. We were best friends. We started our relationship with trust then, comes honesty. The two first things were ruined in our relationship. Our faith and trust with each other became so weak that love was there but it wasn't enough to save the relationship. We forgot a lot of things between us: how we started, how we appreciate each other, most of all how we loved each other. It was a terrible feeling indeed. I thought I couldn't handle the situation anymore but my hopes were still up for some reason because I knew that the man that I love is still there. He just needs to be found again.

Before the year ends, we made a revelation and all happened in just one click. The minute we saw each other was the settling of ourselves. We came back to fix what was broken. As I go on each day with things already settled,  I've been growing more out of this relationship and learning things that I never knew that were actually there. We fight and disagree with each other because we care about each other. We sometimes can't control ourselves throwing words that can hurt our partner. If someone tells you that they are afraid to hurt your feelings, don't believe them. Because we cannot actually prevent ourselves from hurting the ones we love because that is one way to show understanding of each other's differences. We make our own compromise and meet in the middle. They say a strong relationship isn't measured by how long you've been together. Yes, we've been together for more than six years and counting. It wasn't only time that we had built together but we build a stronger foundation for the both of us. I truly am proud of what we've become and what we are today. It is indeed that two people sometimes need to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together. The most amazing part of this is, we learned to love each other more than how we did yesterday. We're back together as a couple and happy with the company of each other no matter how many miles apart we are. Distance didn't matter anymore. Video calls were all we have yet we smile at each other as if there is no tomorrow. Whatever is trying to tear us apart isn't a part of the equation anymore. Him and I is all that matters. It is true that couples who are meant to be are the ones who go through everything that is designed to tear them apart and still come out even stronger than before. We both can't wait to see what life has for us and we both know that we are willing to figure it out, together.

Hubbie, this is for us. Cheers for a stronger us. I love you always and forever.

Things I Realized When It Was Too Late

We always thought that love was enough to conquer everything. That love was enough to make us happy. But we never thought that love may not be enough for everything. When we say the three words, "I love you" to the person who means most to us, it must come with sincere actions, careful words, and most of all you must give yourself in it no matter how high the risk may be of hurting yourself.

These were the things I never realized until I lost the person that I love most. If you are in a relationship, starting a new one, or planning to be in the future, avoid these in yourself:

1. Putting ourselves first before our partner
Love is not selfish. We must ought to remember that we love not for the purpose to be loved but to show the love that our partners deserve. Often times we only think about what we deserve to have rather than what our partners must have. We think we were doing our best and yet this is all we get, and we never realize that our partner is doing the best that he/she can to show appreciation of our efforts. Love is not about expecting the same in return. But to continually give and give love. It doesn't matter if he/she returns to it, what matters is that they have received it.

2. Carrying a luggage and pretending it wasn't there
We go through problems in our relationships and often times we get to think that its best to ignore it and just go on. We never thought that we were carrying it along our backs and over time it will become heavier until we can't move one step further. When we try to unload the things behind our backs, unpack it, and realize that what makes it heavy was the demons of our past. The problems we thought we already solved were coming back. Every time you will have a misunderstanding with your partner, this luggage will just get in the way and will keep you holding back and you won't make it work after all. When you encounter a problem along the way, never last a day without working it out. It is alright to take the time for yourselves but never ever leave it behind unsolved.

3. Saying things we thought we would never regret
There's a saying that we have to taste our own words before it comes out of our mouth. I failed at it many times, really. I thought that those words would mean nothing but on the other side, the effects to my partner were terrible. No matter how strong your relationship is, but with just the words that you try to say, it can break off the relationship you have. When we want to express something or tell something to our partner, it is always a choice to put it in words that won't hurt. To speak calmly and to think twice, may be even thrice before we can say them. Because we won't realize the effects until it already came out and the effects will never ever be good.

4. We always thought that we won't loose the people we love
Most of the time, our partner shows us what we mean to them. They would put in all the efforts to make you stay despite of us having the thoughts of giving up. But our partners are human, too. They can get tired anytime. Because of these, when we feed ourselves with the pride of our loves being afraid to loose us, we take it for granted. We drive them away, give them less affections, and worse - make them feel they are doing it for nothing and we were not even aware. I always had the person I never thought of loosing, and I tried to push him away. I never thought that I was making him feel less worthy with all the actions that I've been doing. Until he came to me and I saw him broken, lying on the ground, with wounds on his hands picking up his own broken pieces. Until then I realize that I was the reason for all what had happened between us. I was the reason why we've been hitting rock bottom. I tried to make it work but it was already too late. And here it is, I lost him - rather, I threw him away a long time. There was no other way for us to make it work because he deserves better than making him stay with me and he will just be hurt again.


Life must go on as everyone said it. It means that we must continue to live our lives no matter what sort of hardships we are going through. It may be stormy today and our days will never remain rainy. Think that one day the sun will finally shine through you again. There are things that we never knew we had until it is lost. The hardest part of accepting what we lost is when we realize that we never did our best to keep it.

To all the people out there who thought as if they are struggling in their relationships, you may have not reached the worse part yet. We may have different experiences and different views of the worse part. But you'll never know what it is until you try to look back and find out what is wrong. Never think of all the wrongs and the thousand reasons why it can never work with the both of you. Think of only one reason why it will always work. Hold on to that, strengthen it. Because I had a lot of chances to change everything but I took it for granted. Never let this happen to you. Don't come into a point of living your life with regrets wishing you have done better - no - wishing you should have given your best. Because I did. And now, I will always will regret it for throwing away the person who means so much to me.

Things My Mother Never Told Me

Girls who are generously endowed can well be proud. Being stacked will make a girl sought after and whistled at. But the kind of interest it provokes may be darned so healthy that's unhealthy. Wolves and no-goodniks looking for pure sex will be cluttering up your doorsteps, asking for dates. This is the kind of attention a girl can well do without.

The problem here is, a girl who's stacked can never be sure whether she is being taken out because she is really liked, or just because her escort wants to show her off to his buddies, then brag about the "wild body" he dated the other night. Certainly, a boy's intentions toward a girl who is stacked aren't always suspect. But this unfortunate situation prevails often enough to provide considerable consolation to some girls.

"If he tries to kiss me on the first date, should I let him? If I don't, maybe he won't ask me out again." Stop fretting girls! A nice girl doesn't hand out a kiss on the first date. Kisses are supposed to mean something. Don't pass them out like pretzels. Intrigue is a big league on dates. Whoever heard of a good story without suspense? Make him wait for that kiss. If the boy is worth liking, he will respect you for it. It sets you up as someone special.

"Should I go steady?"
a. Going steady is excluding everyone from your dates except your one-and-only. But how do you know "the one" unless you've tried going out with others, lots of others. Would you buy the first pair of shoes you tried on?
b. While your steady might look great for a while, let's face it, someone might come along that looks pretty interesting. But you're hooked.
c. Going steady before you're mature is unhealthy. And unsafe. When you're arm-in-arm with the same person for a long period of time, it's soon cheek-to-cheek, and we all know pretty well where that can lead to. Into TROUBLE!!!

Don't impose superhuman temptations to yourself. Keep clear to the steady web until you are ready to think of permanent attachments. Until then, be wise, socially.

It takes a level and determined head to control a foolish heart. Where the male critter is concerned, never are the hormones more fanatic, more sensitive to excitement than during the teen years. The bobby sexer herself, on the other hand, has more fear from her heart than from her hormones. The danger in her case is that if doing what comes naturally is what it takes to keep a blossoming Romeo on the hook, she is sometimes tempted to give in.

"To pet or not to pet?" is  soliloquy often repeated on doorsteps, back porches and in parked cars. "Can it be wrong when it seems so right?" ponders the female. Quicker than a penguin sliding down an icicle that's how a quick petting session can turn into a jam session. And you're the one in the jam! At this budding age, you're sexual perceptions are keenly sensitive. Make up your mind before your dates that you are going to control the situation; that you're going to limit your kisses, the duration of your kisses and the type of your kisses. "Soul kissing" does not lead to prayer and meditation!

Troubles are like photographs. They are developed in dark places. Sitting for hours in a dark room or a parked car and kissing is asking for trouble. Prolonged kissing is the first step in serious lovemaking. It whets the appetite. It's meant to warm up the engines in preparation for a trip to the moon. And once the engines are warmed up, then the heavy necking and petting begin, and the next step is going to far.

The oft - tendered trap of the junior - grade lover boy is cloaked in hot-and-heavy camouflage of love. Any fellow who asks you to "prove your love" is trying to take you for the biggest fool whoever walked. Fellows like to experiment. They like to find out how far you will go. Stop short, and they will respect you. This Don Juan wants you to: surrender your virtue; throw away our self-respect; risk getting into trouble.

When a decent boy gets serious about someone had thinks of marrying someone - that someone will be someone he respects. Not all boys are angels, but most are looking for one.

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No copyright infringement intended. Credits goes to my grandpa's sister. Photos from google search.

Physical Union is Sacred

God creates woman for man, to be his helpmate. "It is not well that man should be without companionship; I will give him a mate of his own kind." 

(Genesis 2:18-19)

The Divine creation of the two sexes is here suggested as essential for the point of view of fellowship. A helpmate does not mean servile inferiority, but rather that through differences, like a bow and a violin, they would compliment each other. Sex is not only the Divinely-will manner in which mankind will increase and multiply; it is also to be the basis of mutual helpfulness. Not to every husband and wife is given the privilege of having a Pentecost of the flesh through birth of a new physical body, but to every one is given the companionship, which God wills should be His lot in earth.

Mutual helpfulness implies an interpretation of ideals. Nietzsche once said that before a man get married, he should ask himself: "Would I be willing to talk to this woman all the days of my life?" This brings up the question of merging personalities. There are only two genders, but there are millions of different personalities. The body by its very physical nature is incommunicable.

Two bodies cannot occupy the same space at the same time. Animals never get inside of one another's mind by mating, for there is no mind to penetrate. But there is something in a human which is communicable, and which can get inside of another personality, and that is his mind, attitudes, his ideals, and his moods. A mere physical content can throw personalities back into their solitude and isolation in a way, which happens after a conversation.

God ordained that the unity in the flesh be not transitory, or spasmodic, but enduring until death. The body symbolizes and intensifies the union of souls. Because there is unity in spirit, in ideals, and in love, the bodies concretize and intensify that union The happiness of marriage depends upon common denominators, and the most common denominator of all is the love of God expressed in a common liturgy, a common faith, where in a husband and wife received the same bread and is made one Body in Christ. When this is lacking, the love of human lacks the best inspiration. They are like two Leibnitz' atoms, which bumps and hit one another but have no windows through which one can look out on the other. Man and woman marry to make one another happy, but they never can do this until they have agreed on what's happiness.

There is no solitude worse than the solitude of the one who is bound to love in a dual life, or of those epidermal unities drive them back to themselves in greater loneliness that before. But God intends that there should be a growing-together. What started as a passion of love becomes an act of love and then habit the soul of each moves the body of each; and finally, the body and soul of each to Himself, and therefore closer to each other. The growth they know, even if God has not blessed them with children, is a growth in God. A marriage need not have children to be divinely blessed marriage, for children depend on the Will of God, cooperating with husband and wife.

Marriage exists for the sake of intimacy, and as such, is ordained to intimacy. Feuerbach said, "A man is what he eats." In a higher order, a person becomes that which is taken into his body becomes unified with that body. In like manner, the person who has this mysterious martial communication with another body becomes "personalized" to some extent by that body, and also with that personality. The sentiments and the affections of one become the sentiments and the affections of the other in a great moment of identification. As speaking common language unites people, and as people are united through sharing the same ideals, so in marriage, people are united in a more binding way by this new knowledge of sex. From this point of view, quite part from the fruit of love in the child - this knowledge, which has of the other, is not discursive - like that which comes from reason. It is rather more intuitional, in the sense of being more immediate. Marriage, by its very nature, tends to this unity, through communication of the flesh with flesh. The very fact that God made a woman as the helpmate of man means that He intended that spiritual impregnation is closely associated with physical impregnation; one without the other is contrary on His Divine Purpose. To use the physical basis of unity, while deliberately rejecting the mental unity that implies, is to poison that mysterious food which comes clean from the hands of God.

"Because of our soul's yearning that we meet
And mix in soul through flesh, which yours and mine
Wear and impress, and make their visible selves,
All of which mean, for the love of you and me,
Let us become one flesh, being one soul."

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No copyright infringement intended. Credits of the article goes to my grandpa's sister. Photo borrowed from google search.

Women, A Helpmate?

Women are supposed to be a helpmate, a compliment to man. In the first pages of the Old Testament, we read that God, observing Adam all alone in the world, said, "It is not good for man to be alone; let us make a helpmate unto himself." It was at this time Eve - woman - was created.

Notice the word God Himself used, a helpmate. That's exactly what He intends woman to be - a helpmate - a compliment to man, a completion of man. Girls have a great influence on man and his actions. These are some things girls must keep in mind throughout their entire life. It will be true no matter what their vocation is in life.

While men may not always be too anxious to admit it, the fact remains true that without the love, understanding, gentleness, and encouragement of a woman, they would not be nearly as contented and self-satisfied as they are. I think we would all be truly amazed if we were to learn how many men successful in spiritual, intellectual, physical or material endeavors owe this success to a very great extent to the efforts of some women.

If, however, a woman lacks an idea of true love, if she is inconsiderate, coarse and selfish, and if she puts her own desires ahead of everything else, then she is entirely capable of utterly ruining the man or men with whom she comes into contact. This kind of woman still able to influence men, but her influence will not be toward good, but toward evil. And the men who come under the influence of such a woman fall into the hands of a helpmate of the devil - not a helpmate of man.

Women have this great influence over man for either good or evil. As I mentioned before, it is so important to remember that God has given this very same power to every girl. These powers become more pronounced as girls grew older. A girl should always pray daily that she uses them to bring men closer to God, not to drive them farther away from Him.

"What every man in his heart of desires is a woman to whom he can safely tell everything, to whom he can turn his weariness, to whom he can take his defeats and failures, the last things the lamp that are gone out, the hopes that are ashes, the springs that springs no more, the secret sordid things that eat him up that drag him down."

Men always run onto women when they are down or when problems rage them. Men can only open up
sincerely when talking to a woman whom they are close to or whom they trust and consider a friend than telling them to a man to man business. Man only knows that they can talk to women, understanding their situations and relieving every pain that they feel inside their hearts and feelings.

"Love to us women is life and soul, a priceless jewel without match, but now I have fathomed the sincerity of your love, this jewel I now entrust in your palms - with prayer that you may equal the greatness of my love."

Love to women by men and other people conquer a lot in their lives. They easily trust and hoping that the person they rely on their trust will outgrew and exchange the feeling of love with each other. This is also one of the weaknesses of women. They easily trust a person like they have known them for so long.

"To be a woman is something

so strange, so confused,

so complicated, that only a woman could

put up with it."

The single verse above states that being a woman is not so easy. Sometimes, it really is confusing, for many times women cannot overcome immediately what they feel and leads to failure. But only women ca  pursue and fight the feelings they feel in order for them to make their life in beauty and in success.

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No copyright infringement intended. Credits for article goes to my grandpa's sister and images at google search.