We always thought that love was enough to conquer everything. That love was enough to make us happy. But we never thought that love may not be enough for everything. When we say the three words, "I love you" to the person who means most to us, it must come with sincere actions, careful words, and most of all you must give yourself in it no matter how high the risk may be of hurting yourself.
These were the things I never realized until I lost the person that I love most. If you are in a relationship, starting a new one, or planning to be in the future, avoid these in yourself:
1. Putting ourselves first before our partner
Love is not selfish. We must ought to remember that we love not for the purpose to be loved but to show the love that our partners deserve. Often times we only think about what we deserve to have rather than what our partners must have. We think we were doing our best and yet this is all we get, and we never realize that our partner is doing the best that he/she can to show appreciation of our efforts. Love is not about expecting the same in return. But to continually give and give love. It doesn't matter if he/she returns to it, what matters is that they have received it.
2. Carrying a luggage and pretending it wasn't there
We go through problems in our relationships and often times we get to think that its best to ignore it and just go on. We never thought that we were carrying it along our backs and over time it will become heavier until we can't move one step further. When we try to unload the things behind our backs, unpack it, and realize that what makes it heavy was the demons of our past. The problems we thought we already solved were coming back. Every time you will have a misunderstanding with your partner, this luggage will just get in the way and will keep you holding back and you won't make it work after all. When you encounter a problem along the way, never last a day without working it out. It is alright to take the time for yourselves but never ever leave it behind unsolved.
3. Saying things we thought we would never regret
There's a saying that we have to taste our own words before it comes out of our mouth. I failed at it many times, really. I thought that those words would mean nothing but on the other side, the effects to my partner were terrible. No matter how strong your relationship is, but with just the words that you try to say, it can break off the relationship you have. When we want to express something or tell something to our partner, it is always a choice to put it in words that won't hurt. To speak calmly and to think twice, may be even thrice before we can say them. Because we won't realize the effects until it already came out and the effects will never ever be good.
4. We always thought that we won't loose the people we love
Most of the time, our partner shows us what we mean to them. They would put in all the efforts to make you stay despite of us having the thoughts of giving up. But our partners are human, too. They can get tired anytime. Because of these, when we feed ourselves with the pride of our loves being afraid to loose us, we take it for granted. We drive them away, give them less affections, and worse - make them feel they are doing it for nothing and we were not even aware. I always had the person I never thought of loosing, and I tried to push him away. I never thought that I was making him feel less worthy with all the actions that I've been doing. Until he came to me and I saw him broken, lying on the ground, with wounds on his hands picking up his own broken pieces. Until then I realize that I was the reason for all what had happened between us. I was the reason why we've been hitting rock bottom. I tried to make it work but it was already too late. And here it is, I lost him - rather, I threw him away a long time. There was no other way for us to make it work because he deserves better than making him stay with me and he will just be hurt again.
Life must go on as everyone said it. It means that we must continue to live our lives no matter what sort of hardships we are going through. It may be stormy today and our days will never remain rainy. Think that one day the sun will finally shine through you again. There are things that we never knew we had until it is lost. The hardest part of accepting what we lost is when we realize that we never did our best to keep it.
To all the people out there who thought as if they are struggling in their relationships, you may have not reached the worse part yet. We may have different experiences and different views of the worse part. But you'll never know what it is until you try to look back and find out what is wrong. Never think of all the wrongs and the thousand reasons why it can never work with the both of you. Think of only one reason why it will always work. Hold on to that, strengthen it. Because I had a lot of chances to change everything but I took it for granted. Never let this happen to you. Don't come into a point of living your life with regrets wishing you have done better - no - wishing you should have given your best. Because I did. And now, I will always will regret it for throwing away the person who means so much to me.
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