Love at First Sight, Literally

I used to wonder why some long term relationships end. In their seven years, eight years, what could have possibly gone wrong? Why did they take it so long before they realize that they weren't meant for each other? It sometimes felt like they wasted so many years. Somehow, it also took long before I came to realize it.

Falling in love is an amazing experience. The way that he first stared in your eyes; the first time she showed how much she cared; the first time you said how you felt for each other. Your heart starts to beat fast, feel butterflies in your stomach. Your cheeks started to blush. You felt like you became mute and don't know what to say next. We all remember how it felt and most of the time, hoping that we could feel the same way over and over again. Falling in love with the idea of love is so much different with falling in love with the person you found love with. Romance that has covered in the first phase of falling in love is - like angel's breath that swept through your cheeks, its light, its soothing. But this romance thing doesn't last long as we all know of. We start to fall in love because the idea at first is there, its what invites us more to this person. But the real thing is what happens after this romance ends?

When both of you started as young lovers and almost grew with each other, you both get matured and discovered things differently. At most times, you wouldn't get along so well anymore. You both chose separate ways, this is where an eight year or seven year relationships end. Because you grew on different ways. You were only caught with the idea of love, not with the person you applied the idea. They say that we should wake up from that fantasy, from that fairy tale we've watched as a kid. It  only happens in stories, but never in real life. Most of these stories start the first time they glanced each other, fell in love, get misunderstandings, and by the end, get married and have kids. But what actually happens next is - LIFE. Can you still say how much your heart beats fast when your husband comes home from work exhausted and takes a rest, just saying, "I'm home, hon"? Can you still feel butterflies in your stomach realizing with how much you and your partner are busy at work struggling to provide for your family? Can you still see how your face would blush when you both argue with each other? How would you fall in love with your partner once again when you realize your differences, and how much you disagree with both of your ideas? Because you don't feel the spark of love anymore, or the idea of how you felt in the first place, you tend to search for it. When searching inside is unsatisfactory, we search outside.

Somebody told me that it isn't wrong to search what you want outside. The fact that they say its wrong because they attach the idea that you are already tied to somebody else and you must only look upon this person within the term of the relationship. But actually falling in love again is not a bad thing to deal with.  If another cycle of relationship starts, you will feel the same way again by having to feel romance at first but will feel cold and something lacking next. What is lacking is not the romance, but the capacity to love that person in spite of the cold flow between the two of you. You keep the relationship going because you learned to love this person understanding how well he does to you and to others and how well he handles the relationship.

Learning to love this person is much more important than falling in love. That is why I never believed that the person you'll be with will always be based on your fate or destiny. Remember that our fate lies within our hands. We decide which one leaves and stays. Say for an example, you do love this guy when suddenly he walks away for some reasons he didn't tell you, would you simply let him go despite the fact that you knew how strong he feels for you? Would you just stare at him walk away? Loving this person is actually a blessing, being loved by him in return is a bonus. You both decide whether you'll be meant for each other. You must work on it to keep that long term relationship be endless and stronger all through those years. What makes it difficult is making your desires for romance a priority rather than thinking about what you two have already gone through. Make this person love you more and learn to love him more. Make it endless by loving real life with him. Because relationships only end when the other chooses another path, alone.





- From the concept of, "Did I Marry the Right Person?"